Birthday No Shows

Welcome back to Hard Truth With EZ! And this post has gotten me all fired up! There is some coarse language below, so if you don’t like ‘rude’ words this is probably not the post or site for you!

If you need any advice, submit your questions and I’ll do my best to help. All posts are anonymous so no need to stress!

Let’s get cracking!


Question: What should I do EZ? I invited 40 people to my daughter’s birthday.

In the last 24 hours, 20 people have cancelled and they all said they were sick. Literally all the cancellations are by my friends and family who live an hour and a half away.

It just sucks they’ve all cancelled on me the day before the party, especially when we’ve been to all their parties so far. They’ve hardly visited us since we’ve moved so maybe I should have expected this?

I feel so upset about this all but I’m not sure what I can do?

Angry and Upset

Dear Angry and Upset, 

This sort of stuff makes my blood boil! How rude and disrespectful are these people? You have every right to feel upset over this, and if this happened to me I would tell them to eff off.

These people clearly don’t care for you or your daughter and that’s a shame as you’ve put in the effort to attend their events.

And just no, you should not have expected this. They RSVP’d yes to your party. That means they were going to be there, and you probably spent money to cater for them being there. More likely than not, they’ve decided they aren't bothered to drive and have chucked a sickie. Fucking rude!

So you have a choice to make. Do you:

1. Not say anything and pretend like it’s all OK? Nothing wrong with this option, except you’ll be allowing them to get away with this behaviour and they’ll probably do it at the next event or party you decide to throw.

2. Say something? I know I would. In fact, I would put them all in a group chat and say “Hey everyone, It’s crazy that all of you got unwell the day before the party! Hope you recover quickly, and maybe next time around you can all make the effort to drive an hour and a half instead of bailing”... but I know not everyone is as confrontational as me, so maybe something like “ Hey everyone, hope you’re all feeling better. I really do hope you were unwell, as I’d hate to think you were bailing on (insert daughters name) party because of the distance. If that’s the case I’d rather people be upfront with me next time so I can cater properly. No hard feelings and will see you all soon”.... You’re calling them out in a nicer way.

3. Do nothing? And I mean do nothing with them or for them. No more visiting their houses, or going to their events or initiating conversations (if you do that). They’ve made it clear they dont value you, so you shouldn’t value them. You should make zero effort with them and see what happens. If you don't hear from people, then it’s pretty clear they're not as invested in the relationship.

Family shouldn’t treat family this way.

And that’s the Hard Truth With EZ.


Do you agree or disagree with my advice? Let me know in the comments! Or check out other questions people have asked me here.

If you’ve got your own questions, don’t forget to ask me here