Anti Vax Family Drama
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Question: My husband and I are about to have our first baby, and we are very excited! We’re due in a few weeks and we are running into some issues with our family who are very anti vaccines. My brother and his wife have 2 children (2 and 4) who are not vaccinated against anything, and we are concerned about having them all around us as we don’t want our newborn to get unwell. My husband has expressed concerts around my parents as well, because they regularly babysit my nieces, and thinks they need to keep their distance as they could pass germs through to us.
We decided to let my brother know that it’s OK that they have decided not to vaccinate their children; however, we don’t want them to see us until our child can be vaccinated. We also let my parents know that we’d prefer them not to visit as well if they are babysitting.
This did not go down well with them as you can imagine and now everyone is saying we are wrong and that we are destroying our family. My parents have taken my brother’s side here and are insisting we just move past this so we don’t ruin the family.
What should we do?
Lady with a baby
Dear Lady with a baby,
Unfortunately this topic does create a lot of drama and heated debate amongst families and it can really bring out the ugly in people.
So firstly, congratulations! I hope everything goes smoothly for you over the next period and that parenthood is everything you dreamed.
Secondly, you should stick to your guns. No vaccine, no visit. Plain and simple. As a parent you have a duty to protect your child and during those first few weeks and months of life babies are totally defenceless. You and your husband are your child’s voice, you are their protector.
Your brother and his wife made a decision to not vaccinate their kids. It’s a stupid decision, but it’s theirs to make. And if I am understanding right, you haven't told them to get vaccinated either, you are just telling them to stay away. That’s very respectful of you.
You and your husband have also made a decision. If they don’t like it, then too bad. 2 and 4 year olds are covered with everyday germs as well as everything else under the sun! They also love cuddles with babies, and so the cycle continues and everyone gets sick.
Their behaviour is what’s breaking up the family, not yours. They are just trying to guilt trip you into changing your minds. Hold strong and protect your baby!
It’s tough about your parents as it sounds like they are caught in the middle a bit here, but if they are regularly babysitting then they just can’t be around you, your husband or baby. The fact they sided with your brother is poor form, and goes to show they don’t respect your views here.
It’s becoming more and more common for people to say no to unvaxxed visitors so there’s no need for you to stress about it.
You are your baby’s protector. Keep them safe. Keep your family away!
That’s the Hard Truth With EZ
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